Conquer The Despair of Divorce
When a divorce is in the works, many parents will sit
around and think about the past while they worry about
the future. As we learned in lesson two, our thoughts
directly affect our feelings. And, as we learned in
lesson five, there are many techniques we can use to
reduce stress and fear.
Emotions can weaken us - but they can also give us
strength. You can choose which.
If you allow sadness and self pity to move in, you will
not be able to move past the pain and it will be a
struggle just to get through each day. If you make up
your mind to focus on a new, better life, your emotions
can propel you further than you thought possible.
It's easy to want to be positive about the divorce, but
how can we actually be positive? In the beginning we
simply don't believe that we will ever get past this.
But, keep focusing on the positive and you will soon see
that it becomes easy. And, don't be surprised if you are
soon happier than you ever were during your marriage.
Start with taking a few minutes to go for a walk. It
doesn't matter where you walk just do it. Pay attention
to everything you see. Cars, buildings, people and
animals. Notice the sun or the rain. Feel the wind on
your face. Hear the crickets chirp or the kids playing
ball. Remember all these things.
Now, the next time you catch yourself feeling sad or
upset about your divorce, close your eyes and remember
the senses you absorbed during your walk. If you want to
- or need to - get up and go for a walk again.
If walking isn't for you, find another activity that
allows you to think. Basketball could be your sport.
Concentrate on making those baskets - and you won't be
thinking about your divorce. Teaching your dog to fetch
can take your mind off your divorce.
Whatever activity (or activities) you choose, use them
whenever you start feeling sad about your divorce. If
you can't physically break away to go do the activity
immediately, take a few minutes to think about it.
In a week or two, you will automatically think about the
activity as soon as bad thoughts of the divorce enter
your head. Before long, you won't have those bad
thoughts anymore. It is time to move forward. Understand
the mistakes that were made and prepare to move forward
with your life.