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Teach Your Children To Feel Good About Themselves

We've all seen people who treat failure as an opportunity, not as defeat. We watch as they dust themselves off and try again - with a smile on their face! It may take two or three tries, but these people eventually come out on top.

If we could teach this attitude to our children, there is nothing they couldn't achieve. We can teach them to treat failure as an opportunity. And it's easy!

As we learn in lesson 3 of our online parenting classes, when we teach our children to feel good about themselves, we teach them how to handle life's disappointments.

When they do things right, acknowledge it.
Find one or two things about what they did to complement. Don't go overboard on the praise or they may not believe you are sincere. Simply point out one or two things that you liked about what they did.

Tell them they should be happy about their accomplishment.
This is one trick that most parents miss. We want our kids to learn to look to themselves for validation. We do not want them doing things to make others happy. So we include one simple sentence in our praise. "You must be very proud of yourself." or "I'll bet you are happy with your performance."

By including a simple sentence that guides them to feel good, your children learn to look to themselves for validation.

Acknowledge their mistakes - but don't dwell on them.
Be honest. If they tried something and failed, acknowledge the failure, but point out at least one thing they did right in their attempt. "Yes, the house you built with blocks fell down, but I really liked the colors you chose. Let's try again." or "I know your shoe came untied, but I'll bet you are really proud of the fact that you tied them all by yourself today!" or "Yes, you did miss the game winning basket. but you should be proud of the two three point shots you did make."

These three tips will go a long way in teaching your children to look inside themselves for validation and to shrug off the failures and try again.

Not only are you teaching your children to feel good about themselves, you are strengthening your relationship with them. Your children are seeing you as a loving parent who truly cares how they feel. Even the busiest parents can take a few seconds to teach their children how to feel good about themselves.

The work you do while your children are small will make a world of difference when they become teenagers. If they view you as caring and supportive, they will continue to trust you as they grow older. If they view you as critical and unsupportive, they will look to others to give advice when they reach their teens. Who do you want to guide your teenager - you or your teenager's friends.

Parenting is easier than most parents think.

 

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